bittersweet
bittersweet
Jul. 24, 2005, 12:43 pm
the great thing about unrequited love is it's the only kind that lasts
-
Jul. 22, 2005, 11:46 pm
hope dangles on a string, like slow-spinning redemption
sleep-deprived but still rockin'
Jul. 21, 2005, 10:27 pm
i'm looking for a travel partner! some beach destination (malaysia, thailand or bali) for a couple of days. i need a break! and i want one last holiday in the tropics before i fly to a cold grey rainy land.
in other news: no camera, preeth. *puts on best ching-chong honky-tonk accent* you no come with us, you no see anythin'! yeah but we had a blast. i've shocked myself by being very functional and un-wretched today despite the horrific lack of sleep and copious (well actually not very copious. shu and i are convinced the drinks have somehow gotten watered down!) amounts of alcohol imbibed yesterday. dammit i could even get the hang of french grammar. and kicked french-dictation-ass. despite having had only 2 hours of sleep. oh yeah.
am still waiting in anticipation for my shipment of books to arrive. oh please let it be tomorrow. i think i'll start with the chuck palahniuk one. delish.
matchbox twenty musings
Jul. 18, 2005, 9:08 pm
but if the bright lights don't receive you, you should turn yourself around and come on home
amusing stars
Jul. 17, 2005, 8:52 pm
*grin* my horoscope reading for the week. for everyone's entertainment.
A week rich in new relationships and propitious to the progress of your affairs. Your various problems will get solved for the best of your interests. Very satisfactory health; your digestion will be made in excellent conditions. Rather agitated family life, and you'll have the impression that your children secretly make fun of you. Certain of your friends might disappoint you; don't be too bitter about it, given human nature; rather try to tie new contacts, to enlarge your horizon: the stars will give you opportunities to do it.
choices
Jul. 13, 2005, 11:02 pm
is a bad choice a wrong choice? or a wrong choice a bad choice? or are they the same thing?
cheer
Jul. 12, 2005, 10:08 pm
haha i'm back in delirious joy!!!
i get to leave my job early after all!! woohoo! much thanks to my director who spoke to the big guy on top to let me leave. oh blissblissbliss.
thank you God.
now to celebrate, i'm going to do something reeaally wicked next week *raises eyebrows at shuen slyly* "you're so nice!" "i have a boyfriend!" "i can't hear you!" yes and that was my way of an invitation. haha.
it's time to wrest my life back!!!
nipple warmers o_O
Jul. 09, 2005, 11:12 pm
i was surfing this winter clothing website and made the discovery of my life:
there's such a thing as nipple warmers. yes and they're made of possum fur. and no, it's not in any way meant to be kinky... it's retailing at a very reputable winter wear store in new zealand.
i suppose you learn new things everyday.
in other news, i have a new haircut! dont really like it but i'm hoping it'll grow on me. and i am also muchly sick now. so take a raincheck on drinking we must, chethan :)
-
Jul. 07, 2005, 2:32 pm
okay ive made my peace.
so i'll still be working till jul 31st.
fuckit, but oh well. you pay to learn.
-
Jul. 04, 2005, 11:06 pm
just one, before i leave. and look me in the eye.
and don't do it as a favour. or if you do, just dont let me find out. you were always so good at acting anyway.
c'est tout.
liberation
Jul. 03, 2005, 10:41 pm
Dear Mrs. *********,
I write to inform you that I shall be leaving my post at the school, with my last day being Friday 15th July 2005. Though short, my time with the school has been pleasurable and memorable indeed. Thank you for your kind consideration.
Regards,
Charmain Heah
my dad has agreed! two more weeks! and i have my life back! yaaaay!! do i hear an amen???!!
oh this is sweet.
jealousy
Jul. 03, 2005, 9:51 am
jealousy bites and won't let go. i think jealousy feeds on pride. so okay, i'll admit, it's my pride that's now making me so jealous.
like you've got a life. and i don't. it used to be that i did, and you didn't.
it stings, yes it does, and i'm sitting here wondering WHY am i wasting my youth like this, this supposedly glorious time of my life with no school, less rules, more money to do what i want, when i want but no. i get myself stuck in a job i didn't even want in the first place; a job that i took on so that i'd be able to tell my parents that i was working gainfully for my means and not bumming around. and how would i have known that my life would morph into 10-hour days? 5 hours of thankless, backbreaking, underpaying work at the preschool followed by 4 hours of tuition to kids who just dont bloody care and try to cover it up.
but really, what's wrong with bumming? never again in my life will i get to bum with no consequences. from uni onwards it's just study, followed by work. let me be irresponsible now; i'll never again get a chance to be.
let me be all the things i'll never again be able to be; let me do all the things i'll only be able to do now.
i feel like 2005 was stolen from me. give it bloody back.
i resent it, this having no life.
-
Jul. 02, 2005, 11:31 pm
what-ifs and why-nots really are my worst enemies these days.
where does all this discontent and restlessness and wistfulness come from?
anyway i've decided i'm not going to back down on leaving my job; i do see why my dad wants me to stay on but i think i've got good reasons too, and in any case i'm the one busting my ass, not him.
sigh.
firm acceptance
Jun. 25, 2005, 11:58 pm
and so i've accepted york.
yup.
-
Jun. 09, 2005, 12:09 am
the question is, what am i trying to achieve here, and what do i want? more importantly, are you worth it? *cue l'oreal advertisement jingle*
cryptics rule!
launch is my best friend
Jun. 05, 2005, 11:07 pm
i'd forgotten all about this song from matchbox 20's last-last album, but launchcast, in its usual uncanny, almost eerily psychic way, played it at a very apt moment in the afternoon. aah. and now, like right this very moment, the lines "you think i'm weak, i think you're wrong" from another matchbox 20 song are playing, right as i type this. see? launch is just spot-on!! it seems to know what im feeling. especially after my disgusting weekend.
and everyone can always use a little rob thomas. ooh.
Take your head around the world
See what you get
From your mind
Write your soul down word for word
See who's your friend
Who is kind
It's almost like a disease
I know soon you will be
Over the lies, you'll be strong
You'll be rich in love and you will carry on
But no - oh no
No you won't be mine
Take your straight line for a curve
Make it stretch, the same old line
Try to find if it was worth what you spent
Why you're guilty for the way
You're feeling now
It's almost like being free
And I know soon you will be
Over the lies, you'll be strong
You'll be rich in love and you will carry on
But no - oh no
No you won't be mine
Take yourself out to the curb
Sit and wait
A fool for life
It's almost like a disease
I know soon you will be
tag you're it!
May. 26, 2005, 10:25 pm
so here's the game; char tagged me (thank you dear, i've enjoyed being 'it') so i'm gonna do this, after which i'll tag someone else. choose 5 occupations from the list below and complete the sentence, answer it on your blog, then tag someone else to do it. so here goes...
If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an inn-keeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be an astronaut...
If I could be a world famous blogger...
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...
If I could be married to any current famous political figure...
if i could be a llama-rider, i'd call mine eedna *winks at relevant person* and i'd train her to spit at people i dont like.
if i could be a writer i'd write a book entirely in verse just like vikram seth did, and die penniless but proud. (no he hasnt died yet and he's far from penniless, but that's beside the point)
if i could be an athlete i'd like to get an adidas endorsement.
if i could be a linguist i would immerse myself in all the different tongues of the world and marvel at how similar and how beautifully different they are. and i would die happy with a cacophony of languages and tongues in my head.
if i could be a doctor, then my life would be fulfilled and my prayers answered.
and i tag amandeh!!!
blogging again
May. 25, 2005, 11:28 pm
am *finally* updating again. i blog so infrequently these days quite simply (and sadly) because i've stopped articulating my thoughts (even on my 'privater' lj) and my days arent anything to shout about, so i really havent got anything to say. still a lot going on in my head, but i just dont talk about any of that anymore.
lots more going on in the heart, but that's staying in there and never coming out. not till i leave for york, in any case. speaking of which, i *still* havent given york a definite yes yet.
i've decided i dont care what my parents say; i'm quitting my job as soon as the contract ends. and i wont work (aside from tuition, cos i owe it to my students) unless it's something like a temporary internship at some magazine... i refuse to subject myself to mind-numbing jobs anymore. i'm bored and i've become boring. the sad bit is that everyone starts uni just when my contract ends. so basically i'll be living it up... alone. whoopee.
and today i had confirmation that i am definitely turned on by voice and speech, nevermind how fugly the owner of the voice is. dont ask. *grin*
back!
May. 07, 2005, 11:57 pm
yes i'm back blogging again. my computer died and i couldnt even retrieve data from the hard disk so everything was gone. was very sad, especially since that meant all my music files and photos were wiped out as well. thankfully i'd burned the important photos (prom and most other jc class and vball ones) into a cd just about 3 weeks before my computer died, so let's just say the loss was controlled. i miss my music though. have to make do with pop fodder on the radio for now.
so what's happened during my blogging hiatus? not much, really. i think probably the most exciting thing that happened would be that i got hit by a motorcycle while driving. but i am *not* a bad driver... i didnt hit it, it hit me! i was slowing down to take a sharp left turn and the bike swiped the back of the car. not my fault cos i signalled left early and he should've expected that i'd slow down for the turn, and he should've kept a safe following distance. so. boo to you, motorcyclist! in other driving-related news, i now hate taxi-drivers with a vengeance. especially those who prowl around angmokio/yiochukang to bully learner drivers. haha. it's quite amazing, how they'll make a 90-degree turn and cut into your lane almost perpendicularly, from the middle lane. i suppose there's a better way to react, but for now i just clutch in and hit the brakes. i don't curse though. i promised myself never to drive like my father does. sorry dad.
in other news, i've gotten a new tuition kid! so yay for me. also, two of my tuition kids are having exams and i've surprised myself by actually being stressed on their behalf. i think i'll be dropping those two soon, though. they're a sibling pair and i dont think their mom wants to keep me around till october when i go off to the uk, cos that will mean dropping her daughter right before she sits for the psle. which is quite fair, really, so i'm fine with that. plus i'm secretly relieved cos i dont particularly enjoy teaching them. to be fair to them, it's not like they can have much of a positive attitude towards something like tuition, so i'm not blaming them or anything.
and i still havent replied to york yet! i'll wait till their financial guarantee package arrives first (they send it out to everyone who's received an unconditional offer, irregardless of your acceptance) before i reply.
nuanced at 12:43 pm
