-
-
Jan. 10, 2007, 11:27 pm
i dont exactly know why i'm still blogging here. but i just felt like doing so, so here goes.
exams are over and i think this term's average will be a 2:1. if i actually allowed it to sink in i know i will be seized by a sort of nameless terror, followed by a hollow disappointment. and no, it's not rafflesian syndrome of always having to overachieve before i'm satisfied. it's a classic case of i have let myself down. immunology and cell+tissue should have been easy-peasy firsts, in the high seventies to eighties mark range. then scoring a low 2.1 for chromosomes would have been okay, because chromosomes is just a shit module really, and the lack of structure in the teaching didnt help.
pull up your socks, charmain. ugh.
-
Nov. 27, 2006, 2:47 pm
i forgot to add one thing.
i love you.
and i promise to stop thinking that everytime you take me out for dinner it's because you want to break up with me. haha.
un bisous.
marital immunity?!
Nov. 27, 2006, 2:17 pm
finally got my subscription to the straits times online, woo. truth be told, i only got the subscription because i missed life! and urban. oh, and because the forum pages can occasionally be interesting. and whilst the guardian has the best columns i've ever read, i must say it's more enjoyable to read columns on issues that i'm more familiar with, that hit closer to home. other than that, BBCnews is my source of information for current affairs and there is no way the straits times even comes close. i've been trying to look for straits times coverage on the FEER lawsuit but haven't been able to find any. hmm *raises eyebrow*
so anyway what i've gathered so far is that singapore is looking to change its penal code, and oral sex and anal sex *may* be legalised, except between homosexuals. good to hear. we've now moved out of the stone age and into the middle ages, woo! and marital immunity (which essentially protects men from being accused of raping their wives) is now being discussed again. what's the discussion for? throw out the immunity, for the love of god. rape is unconsensual sex, and marriage is not a man's ticket to free-flow sex on the tap. it's all very simple, really. i cant see what the discussion is for. what arguments would you have FOR keeping marital immunity? if the wifey won't have sex with you it's either because you've been a violent bastard and should be thrown in jail, or because you're so lousy at it that she's really not interested. and if she's just being a frigid bitch and it's not your fault, poor you, you've been dealt a toughie. but raping her really isn't going to help, is it? so there you go. no fucking reason to give men immunity from marital rape.
right. rant over.
plans
Nov. 16, 2006, 12:51 pm
ill again today. got dressed to go for lects and practs and sunny took one look at me and went 'you look awful' so it was back to bed for me. about to go for my tutorial now cos that can't be skipped. have missed all the important practs for this week, the big immunol one (alan went through the results for the past two practs too, boo!) and chromosomes. catch up, charmain, catch up.
anyway. got inspired by someone's blog to take a walk around and just stroll and look at stuff around york. so much i haven't explored yet, especially the fulford area. and the plans have started forming in my mind already, the perfect sunday. wake up, have an EMJJ or MJJ (though EMJJ is nicer), wash up and get dressed and wrapped up, then it's out on foot, strolling hand in hand, wandering and exploring until the tummies rumble. lunch at fellini's and then home. throw the laundry in the washer and pop a dvd in to wait. curl up under the covers and exult in the blissful warmth.
mmm. i need to get well soon.
bedtime
Nov. 15, 2006, 10:58 pm
took the day off today, terribly ill. actual buy-medicine-and-lie-in-bed ill. oh well. matt's in dubai, nick's in rome and sunny's at phil's so i'm alone at home today. just about to go to bed, the medicine is making me woozy. i think the day and night nurse thing is brilliant (3 sets of capsules for the day, then 1 set before bed to make you drowsy and work on you thru the night) except that the day capsules do actually make you woozy too. took two capsules at 10 in the morning, barely two hours after waking up... and got knocked out cold till 1230.
anyway the past week has been a little less stressful so i've been able to breathe a bit again and relax a bit more. the stress is creeping back and starting to build again but at least this time i'm more aware of what's going to hit me. it's been a steep learning curve, but i'm learning a lot. discovering more of my shortcomings. i wish i was a bigger person, more magnanimous, less selfish, less petty, less temperamental, more trusting, more tolerant. less bitchy, for that matter. the thing is, if i let go of the sniping bitchiness i am left with a pretend-veneer of 'nice' and deep inside the annoyance festers. plus it takes energy to bring on the niceties.
but that's the thing isn't it? i know when i am pretentious and when i'm not, and have no trouble admitting it. and for probably the first time in my life, i am now less pretend and more myself. which puts me in a strange place somewhere between pride and loathing. pride because i know my boundaries. i know where i stand. there is no desperation-laced enthusiasm, no struggling to pretend to fit a shoe i dont. i am under no illusions of what i am to each person i know, and i dont try to stretch what i have. loathing because i am underneath it all, an ugly ugly person waiting to be discovered, and each pretence that i do not put on makes me miss something, and brings everyone one step closer to exposing what i am. even you don't know, and the trouble is that you are too sharp to not soon find out for yourself the meanness and vulgar pettiness in me.
narcissism at its very best. well done me.
-
Nov. 05, 2006, 3:03 pm
have finally found some time in my jam-packed schedule to bang out an update here. well, not really an update. more like a ramble-ramble-let-the-words-tumble sort of post.
so. life's been tough. never been this exhausted, physically and emotionally. exams, waitressing, volleyball, captaincy, biology, invertebrate experiments, essays, competitions, paperwork, formations, strategies, scheming, heavy trays, rude customers, hissy fits, plotting, politics, annoying behaviour, intolerance, flu, cough, cold, housework, messiness, decisions, compromises.
and i found a very unexpected rock in you. thank you, sweetheart, for the listening ear, the good advice, the hugs, the help with laundry, help with paperwork, the staying awake, the cuddles, the tolerance, the patience, the tickling, the jokes, the hurried lunches and dinners, the love.
tu est ma roche et mon tresor. merci, mon cheri. je t'aime.
back to immunology now.
vegetating in york
Sept. 22, 2006, 1:16 pm
york. finally. more or less settled in though my room is still a big mess and I AM NOT STUDYING. boo. tried to do some work on cell signalling but i got lost somewhere between inositol-phospholipid-something and PKA. kana's just arrived yesterday and she's looking fabulous. i do suppose there's something about graduating from uni and starting work. there's a sudden maturity and i daresay glamour that you acquire.
the significant other left rome yesterday and will be back on sunday. anticipation, anticipation, anticipation, glee.
not much else to say, really. the days are passing in a haze of vegging-out on the couch watching the weakest link, eggheads, university challenge, celebrity masterchef, city hospital and to buy or not to buy BBCone and two (the downstairs telly cant receive channel 4, but i've bought myself me own telly for £5 so i'll be installing it tonight and hopefully i'll get channel 4 on it) and, when matt's around, the xbox 360 does take up quite a bit of time and attention too. did someone say something about exams in two weeks? i'm sorry, i didnt hear that.
sigh.
nuanced at 11:27 pm
